So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
