You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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