pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
