Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
