so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
