He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she peed on how many people?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
