I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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