Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
