i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
