2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
