Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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