You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
