u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
