We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
