Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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