you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
