i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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