I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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