I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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