you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
