We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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