my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
