To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
"it" just moved
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
