Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
