i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
