I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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