I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
