I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
