we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
