so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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