forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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