I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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