Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
