Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
