My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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