We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
