We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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