ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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