Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
BRING THE BAGELS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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