So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
