is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
