Im at strip club and am horny
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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