So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
