Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
well you can't waste a boner
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
