People with herpes should wear stickers.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
