There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
