Your face is a jimmy john
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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