Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
