Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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