My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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