so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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