I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
