I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Where did you get a picture of my penis
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
