It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
