Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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