You made me cry and you don't even care
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
