My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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