That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
